Monday, May 4, 2015

Boners (Hard series cont'd )

***If you are not current with this story you can get caught up here.... and then here***

Nathan awoke from his slumber by a persistent thumping at the door. He slowly crawled out of bed, grumbling to himself as he made his way downstairs. He was greeted at the landing by his youngest son, standing naked in a puddle of Cheerios, holding a soiled diaper in one hand and a sticky doughnut in the other. His middle son, who is 3, was busy cramming puzzle pieces into the DVD player. His eldest son, who was blatantly ignoring all that was going on around him, had just finished a round of Call of Duty, finishing in first place with 46 kills and only 7 deaths.

Nathan could only offer a weak and unauthorative "Get this shit picked up." This was the norm for him.

He swung open the door, cowering from the incoming light that plagues his tired eyes. He was oblivious of the erection that was protruding from his shorts. That or he simply didn't give a shit. "What do you want?" he demanded of the officer, who immediately noticed the erection.

"I...umm...can you put that thing away?" Rob stammered as he struggled to avert his eyes from Nathan's glorious boner.

"That's the price you pay for waking me up. It'll go away soon enough." Nathan declared. "Now what do you want?"

"I need to talk to you about your brother-in-law, Dan." Rob stated. "He's gone missing and I thought you might have some answers on his whereabouts."

"I don't know where he is. I haven't talked to him in a couple weeks." Nathan stated.

"Are you familiar with the story of his dog?" the cop asked.

"Depends on which dog you're talking about." said Nathan, as he proceeded to scratch the undercarriage of his scrotum.

"So he had two dogs?" Rob asked as he found himself stealing another glance at the now itchy erection.

"Obviously." Nathan plainly responded, apparently annoyed at the the cop's incompetence. "What does his dogs have to do with anything?"

"I don't know yet but the more information we can gather the better our chances improve of finding Dan." Rob said, trying his hardest to demonstrate a profound knowledge of the investigative process.

Nathan stood there silently and patiently waited for the cop to continue his interrogation. A long and awkward moment had passed and his erection has now subsided into a less noticeable "chubby". His scratching of the scrotum opened up the flap on his boxer shorts and created a window for a direct view of his semi-erect penis. Again, he was either unaware or just didn't give a shit.

The cop, who was sweating profusely, was straining to keep his eyes from glancing down. He didn't want to appear gay, of which he is not. It was his image as a figure that upholds the law which he didn't want tainted with rumors of being gay. But the fleshy member playing peek-a-boo through the opening of the boxer shorts was screaming to be looked at. Gay or not, one couldn't help but gaze upon the glory.

Suddenly, a sound of shattered glass echoed through the house, followed immediately by the sound of a crying toddler. Rob welcomed the distraction, anything to break the gazing upon a man's member, who was clearly more endowed than him. He offered Nathan a look of puzzlement.

"Obviously I have my hands full." Nathan muttered. "But of course you already know that, being that you've been staring at my cock since you've been here."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have children to tend to," Nathan continued "so if you don't mind, could you please go away?"

"But the dog!" Rob exclaimed. "I need to know about the dog?"

"Talk to our friend, Drew." Nathan said. "He'll know more about the dog than I would. Dan's been hanging with him a lot lately."

"Very well. Now go take care of those children." Rob ordered, followed by an awkward wink at Nathan.

Rob was clearly getting frustrated. He just knew that the story of the dog would bring him answers but the facts have eluded him yet again. He removed his hat as he made his way back to his patrol vehicle. He rubbed his hand through his sweaty hair and, as he seated himself into the car he mumbled to himself.

"That fucking dog!" be continued.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Robo-Cop (Hard series cont'd)

"No! You are not free to go! Sit down! Just a few more more questions." the officer barked, trying his best to appear as if he is in complete control of the situation.

"When did you last see Dan, prior to today?" the cop continued.

Michael, who is Dan's brother, sat back in his chair and paused for a moment to recollect his memories.
"The dog." he recalled. "I remember he was going to tell us a story about his dog, Blake."

Rob Smith, the 'I-wanna-be-a-hero' cop, instinctively thought that he was onto something with this dog. A very inquisitive look washed over his face and he leaned in towards Michael, as if trying to impose some form of dominance.
"Tell me more about this dog." he demanded.

"I know nothing about the dog." Michael retorted plainly. "I told you, I haven't talked to him since then. He never did finish the story about the dog."

"Who would know more about" officer Smith demanded.

"Well, officer, if I was in your shoes, the obvious place to start would be his wife." Michael snarked. "She was, after all, part owner of the dog and was by Dan's side every day."

"His wife has gone missing as well, in case you hadn't noticed. Or is that too obvious for you?" the cop snapped back, feeling as if he had recovered from ridicule.

"You know.." Rob continued, "you should try picking up the phone once in a while. Maybe then you could tell me more about your missing brother and his wife."

"That's none of your fucking business!" Michael retaliated. "Why don't you stop harassing me and get your ass out there and find my damn brother!"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do." Rob said in a strangely calm tone. "Now tell me, is there anyone else who might know about the dog?"

Michael, unwilling to match the cop's change of tone, screamed "What is it with you and this fucking dog? What in the blue fuck does the story of a goddamn dog have anything to do with finding my brother?"

"If we find the dog we'll find Dan." said Rob.

"No, Rob! You find my brother and then you'll find the dog. Get your fucking priorities straight!" Michael shouted.

"Will you just cooperate so I can conduct my investigation, please?" the cop pleaded.

"You're not even a detective. You're just a street cop, driving a regular old patrol car!" Michael pointed out.

"Can you just give me a name of someone who is actually close to your brother, unlike you, who might know more than you do?" Rob asked, with a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Fine. Nathan might know something. He's practically Dan's brother in law. Go talk to him." Michael stated. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think we're done here."

"You're free to go." Rob said, as if he had just given a command.

Michael got up and stopped at the door and turned to Rob. "You know something, Rob? You haven't been cool since 8th grade."

The cop just smiled and hung his head. He knew Michael was right. He'd changed. be continued

Friday, March 27, 2015


"Dan was here but he just left. He didn't say anything, he didn't leave a message. He just walked in, had this blank stare on his face as if he had forgotten something, and then he left. That's all I can tell you, except for maybe that he looked a little worn down...he looked life had gotten hard."

"That's all I know. I wish I could tell you more because I'm concerned as well. Am I free to go?" be continued.