The Family Jewels

So here it is, my wife's first post. This is all her, I only edited spelling and grammar. This is her first post so cut her some slack and just keep reading. I introduce to you...Mrs. Workingdan!
This is a not safe for work post. (NSFW)
 Ok guys since this is my first post ever I ask that you cut me some slack cause I'm sure Dan (aka Workingdan) will criticize plenty when he reads this. This blog thing sounds pretty easy but I'm sure once I get going on it I will see how hard it really is, so here it goes!...

Before I get into details on how to vajazzle, I would like to add my thoughts.( this is for you Debra) Well, lets see...my thoughts? I would have to say that it CAN be sexy, but if you get the wrong design or the guy totally hates it then you are screwed...and not in the way you want to be!!! I haven't been brave enough to try this myself but I would like to some day.

Like I had said in my interview I'm going to talk about vajazzling your va jay jay. I know you men wont really like this too well but I promise I will have some sexy pictures on here and hey, you never know, maybe it would interest your significant other into doing this. (Mom if you are reading this please click the little red X at the top left corner! I don't want to think about my mother "spicing up her va jay jay"!)

For those of you that do not know what a va jay jay is (lord help me!!) it is a VAGINA!!! And for those of you that don't know what vajazzling is...well...read on and you will find out! Now! Lets get to business!!!

Awhile back I had a subscription to Cosmo. It was nice getting a magazine in the mail once a month with beauty and sex tips, but the one that really stuck with me was the one that talked about vajazzling your va jay jay. It was all over the front cover, I couldn't miss it! I was so intrigued to read it that I took it to work and read it when I wasn't supposed to.


It didn't give much advise on how to do this so of course I did what any normal person would do. I called my gay hair dresser and asked him about it! Okay I'm kidding I didn't call him! I just looked online to see what I could find, and holy crap! I found some stuff that will haunt me for the rest of my life!!

During my search I found some tips. The first tip was to WAX FIRST!!

Yes, that would be Barbie giving a wax job...scary isn't it?

Now if you didn't already know waxing down there HURTS LIKE A MOTHER F*CKER!! (pardon my language but tha'ts the best way I could think of to describe the pain.) If you do not believe me on how bad it hurts just ask Mr. Workingdan himself!

Yes! I talked him into letting me wax his pubes. Little did he know I was doing this without the paper strips, which means I had to pull back the wax slowly till I could get a good grip and RIP!!! Once I would rip I wouldn't get the whole wax strip I just put on so we had to start the slow pull back again ripping out each hair one at a time!! Oh! And did I mention that I had NO CLUE as to what I was doing? Little did I know that your hair should be grown out a little more than stubbles, not so long that its starting to curl or longer! OOPS!! hahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry but I can't help but giggle inside when I think of this! I know its not very nice but he is the one that was stupid enough to let me do this!

ANYWAY...back to the real subject....

If you try to cheat and shave you are going to end up with something like this:

Not real sexy is it?

Okay, now that we have that part figured out its time to talk about glue. Yes, you have to use some type of glue. I couldn't find a picture of what it would look like if you used super glue, which is probably a good thing. I would imagine it would look something like the razor burn but worse and it would probably burn. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if that glue got in the wrong place!! (Honey! We cant have any fun today! The kitty cant come out and play!!)

Well what kind of glue should you use?? Eye lash glue! That's right! The same glue you use to make your eyes look fabulous is going to make that va jay jay fabulous also!!!

Now for the crystals...I have found in most of my searches that people are using the stick on tattoo crystals and just adding extra glue, but for those of you that have a really steady hand or have a friend that you trust with glue down there, you can get a packet of loose crystals like Swarovski crystals. If you wanted to you could always practice somewhere else on your body!

Now I'm not sure if this girl was practicing or if she is really that stupid and didn't know the difference between her vagina and her forehead! Let's hope she was just practicing!!

I hope that these few tips will help you if you ever decide to do this!!

And hope fully when you are done you get results like this:

Don't worry men I haven't forgot about you! Yes there are several things you can do to add some "spice" for those of you that are bald (weather you choose to be or not) there is something for that!

I give you the Baldazzle!!

Now I personally would KILL my husband if he shaved his head and tried this!! I do wonder though would you HAVE to wax your head to do this? OUCH!!!!

Now for those of you that are wanting to add some spice down yonder they do have pejazzling also!

Now I think these are just undies. If you look at his hips you can kinda see the strap that is holding them on. Guys if you are wanting to REALLY pejazzle expect NOT to get laid!! I don't know any woman in their right mind that would let that their kitty play with that!!! I also don't know if it is possible for a man to stay "hard" long enough to get this done! Well unless they take viagra but like the commercial says-an erection lasting longer than 4 hours should be treated immediately!!! ( they really do mean that guys! You shouldn't call all your friends and tell them about it, cause the next time you try to use that thing it might not work...and that could be a real bummer for you and the person you plan on using it on)

I hope this was useful and entertaining. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer!  Sorry guys, for the penis pictures!

Please feel free to comment below and offer advise and ask questions and, as Workingdan would say "blog safely my friends!"